Everything about motherhood isn’t all peaches and cream. Like anything in life there are good days, and then there are bad days. There are days we love it, and then there the days we wanna run away. Does that equate to us not loving our children? No way. We love them to the moon and back, but there are days when their tiny toddler antics causes me to want to scream bloody murder.
You know those days, when the hitting, lack of sharing, screaming and so on just won’t stop. I know it’s just not my house. It had better not be just my house. LOL! But seriously, it’s in these moments when our happiness tank starts to deplete (along with our patience), and we start thinking about the kid free days we used to have and how we wish we could go back to that for five minutes.
Can I just point out that it’s okay to admit that you think this way sometimes. We’re human, and we’re parents. There’s nothing wrong with reminiscing about the life and freedoms you once had. It’s completely normal.
Now back to what I was saying, when we feel less than our usual perky heppy peppy self we need to take the necessary steps to ensure that our happiness meter is set somewhere between “kids are finally sleep” and “it’s wine time!”, until the next time the tank gets low.
How do we do this? How do we Well, I’ll tell you:
STOP TRYING TO BE THE PERFECT MOTHER
Let me state this out the gate – there is no such thing as a perfect mom. I don’t care what the media, celebrities or that sanctimonious mom at your kids PTA tries to sell you, don’t buy it. It’s not true. There is no rule book for parenting, we are all out here trying to do the best we can for our families with what we have. Which is why I hate the term “perfect” mom, because its wielded in such a way to make moms feel inadequate and self-conscious, as if nothing they’re doing is ever right. No one should ever feel that way about themselves. That’s why it’s important to remind ourselves as often as necessary that there’s no such thing as a perfect mom, and we’re fine just the way we are. Flaws and all.
STOP COMPARING YOURSELF
A lot of women will look at other moms who (seemingly) have “it” together, and wish they could be like them. When the truth of the matter is, (but no one will admit), they don’t have shit together either. They’re struggling just like the rest of us, but they don’t let you know that. It’s all about perception. But know, that’s all it is. This all reverts back to the need some moms feel like they have to be perfect to be considered a good parent to those on the outside looking in. Just enjoy being you.
ASK FOR HELP
If you need your partner to get the kids ready for bath time bed so that you can watch the last few moments of your favorite show, finish a blog post or something that’s for you, ask them. They won’t know you need unless you do so. And please, don’t judge their methods over yours. Let your partner do it their way. And if you have family and friends in your corner who are willing to help you out, ask them as well. Now should you have no one to turn to for help, then try Urbansitter. I found my sitter on there and she’s great! No mom should ever feel like she’s alone in the game of parenting.
Ask yourself, is it really necessary for you to have a full schedule for yourself and your family? Do you even like these activities? Is anyone fully committed to them? If you answered yes to one of those last two questions, or both, then why are you doing them? Cut back on things that you have little interest in. This way you can make the time for things you really like and always wanted to do, or maybe to do nothing at all. Running at 100mph every day is no good for anyone, and the effects of it will take a toll on your physical and mental health. Pace yourself before your wear yourself so thin your body slows down for you.
GET ENOUGH SLEEP
Getting enough sleep is crucial for anyone survive the day. You cannot function at the level you need to complete a 15+ hour day when you’re running on 3 or 4 hours of sleep from the night before, or worse from several nights in a row. Staying up well after the kids have gone to sleep is temping because now the house is quiet but it can backfire on your body and your mind if you do it constantly. So how do you get more sleep? You can go to sleep shortly after the children do. Give yourself two hours after the kids have gone to bed then call it a night. Another good way is to alternate who sleeps in on the weekend. Saturday is my day to sleep in, and Sunday belongs to Jeff. And here’s anther tip, if you’re kids are still in the napping stage, when they sleep you should be sleeping too. Why are you up moving around? Get on the couch our bed and grab some Z’s while you can. If your kids are out of that stage, like mine, then make them go in their room for “chill out” time. This is the time where everyone retreats to their room for one hour. Sometimes kids will nap (YES!) other times they won’t (BOO!) but hey, at least you were able to rest yourself for a bit of time.
LET IT GO
This will be heard for some, but I assure you there is nothing wrong with letting the dishes sit, or leaving the laundry in the bin. Also, try not to get worked up over everything. Especially things that are not in your control. Take a breath and know that things will be okay and continue on with your day. The goal is to keep your stress to a minimum. So when you need to realize you are not in control of everything right at this moment, nor is it necessary for you to do everything. This is all about slowing down. Those toys and laundry aren’t going anywhere leave it to later in the day or even the next day and that those couple of hours to yourself. Now this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be tidy, because you should, it just means putting non priorities to the side in order to do something for you (which is a priority) that will reignite your spark.
Think about it, the longer you go without doing the nasty the angrier you become. Not on purpose. It’s kinda like when you’re pms’ing and everything seems to piss you off. Have sex and when you’re done you will see how calmer you will become. Releasing that pent up frustration from kids, co-workers or even you partner in the bedroom will give your attitude the perk up it needs. You might need a nap afterward, but hey, naps are a gateway to happiness as well.
TAKE CARE OF YOU!
I cannot stress this enough, when you take care of yourself it will make you mental and physically able to take care of others.
A photo posted by Mommy R+R (@mommyrandr) on