Tips

  • 7 Tips To Help You Stick to Your New Year’s Resolutions

    Every year, millions of people start the year with New Year’s resolutions that are intended to make their life a little better. Many people, plan to work out more, save money, and overall just get our shit together for the new year. As usual, folks get off to a great start but after a few weeks, the desire to continue to stick to your new year’s resolutions begins to fade. Listen, I don’t keep most of my resolutions past March, so there’s that. And as a result, lots of folks (myself included) lose confidence or become depressed for not accomplishing their New Year’s resolutions but it doesn’t have to end that way.

    To prevent that from happening here are seven tips to help you stick to your New Year’s resolutions:

    Stick to Your New Year's Resolutions mommyrandr

    Set Realistic Goals

    Having high expectations for yourself is good, provided you don’t go overboard. This is what many people are guilty of, myself included. We tell ourselves we’re gonna do a, b, c, x, y, and z, and ultimately end up not accomplishing shit. Why? Cause we set our own selves up for failure by aiming too high for impossible goals. However, realistic goals are achievable. Instead of setting a goal to read 100 books in a year, start by setting a goal to read a couple of minutes each day. No matter how busy you are, this is something that you can do if you are passionate about improving your knowledge or reading more books in general.

    Starting small doesn’t mean you lack as a person. It’s actually a smart decision to figure out how much you can handle based on your dreams and your routine life. In fact, small accomplishments will help you find happiness and also motivate you to continue to work towards the next step of the resolutions.

    Use The Buddy System

    Having someone or a group of people to hold you accountable will encourage you to keep your resolution going all year long. No matter your resolution have someone in your corner who you can count on to cheer your milestones (big and small) and also call out if you start falling off track. Remember, this is a two-way street in which you’re pushing each other to win. Now if you come to a situation over time when your buddy isn’t being positive and happy for the strides you’ve made then it might be time to seek out someone who is. No one wants or needs a Debbie Downer or worse a hater in their corner.  

    Set Reminders

    We have a lot of things going on at once and trying to remember everything is damn near impossible. Thankfully, technology makes it easier to get daily reminders of the things we need to do. Now you won’t forget to follow through with your goals. And don’t be afraid to set follow-up reminders especially if you know you’re the type to say, eh I’ll do that in the next 10 minutes. By the way, it’s me, I’m the type to say that, and you are too – set that extra reminder.

    Keep Track of Your Progress

    It really is motivating to see all the progress you’ve made so far, even if it’s only been a few weeks. It’s going to encourage you to continue on your path until you reach your goal. Remind yourself of all your hard work by posting your progress where you can see it. On your bathroom mirror, the fridge, in your journal, or on your phone. Every time you look at it it’s going to show you where you started and how far you’ve come since you began. It’s the ultimate motivational booster.

    Focus On The Positives

    Are you going to have setbacks on your way to achieving your goals? Yeah, everyone does. No one sets a goal and then poof in a blink of an eye they’ve achieved it. Nah. That shit takes blood, sweat, and tears which includes setbacks. But don’t focus on that. Learn from it yes, but don’t let it deter you from getting to the finish line. Focus on where you are and how much hard work it took for you to get there not the 2 steps back from a month ago. Let the positive lead you to where you wanna be.

    Keep Trying Don’t Give Up

    Okay, so you set a goal, and guess what? You’re starting to slack off, things aren’t going exactly as planned, or worse you failed. That’s fine, cause that’s life. But the thing you have to remember is don’t stop trying. If you got lazy shake that shit off. Get your mind and body back in the game. If a door closes in the front go around the back to see if that door is open. Also, if you have to scrap and redo your plan in order for it to work better, do it. Do you fail? Alright. Be like Aaliyah and dust that shit off and try again. Do what you gotta do (legally) to reach your end goal.

    And most importantly…

    Don’t Doubt Yourself

    Never for a second doubt that you can’t do it, cause you can, and you WILL. I believe in YOU.

  • 10 Ways for Moms to Chillax on National Relaxation Day

    It’s National Relaxation Day. Let’s celebrate it with a collective wooosahhhh. Yeah, I know relaxing as a parent can be hard and even nonexistent, but I got you covered with some easy ways that will help you chillax on this national day of rest.

    Sleep in

    National Relaxation Day mommyrandr valerie pierre

    What are you getting up so early for if you don’t have to? If you find yourself awake early in the morning while everyone else is still sleeping then you should continue to lay right there. Get up when you’re ready and not a minute before then.

    Stay off social media

    While the innanets can be a fun place to be that shit can also be draining if you wander into the wrong parts, and sadly those parts are sometimes on our timelines. You don’t need that in your life today. Stay off for the day or at least limit the time you spend logged on there.

    Screw the chores

    Today is not a day for chores. Screw’em. You clean every day as so why not give yourself a break. No one cares you got toys in the floor. And think of it this way, if you cleaned up today the kids are gonna mess it up and you’ll have to clean again tomorrow. You might as well just leave it till then, or at least till the end of the day.

    Don’t cook

    If you’re not cleaning today then you also shouldn’t be cooking. Get dinner delivered and call it a night. Oh, and don’t forget to use paper plates and forks, makes for fewer things you gotta wash.

    Get some sun

    If it ain’t too hot take your ass outside. Go for a walk around the block, sit in the park or just go for a drive to Starbucks or something. The idea is to take in the sights, smells and sounds of the outdoors. If it’s too hot stay indoors and keep cool. Too much heat brings on headaches and makes you cranky, and there’s nothing relaxing about that.

    Listen to music

    National Relaxation Day mommyrandr valerie pierre

    Spend the day playing jams that make you feel good. They can be fast or slow. Doesn’t matter, so long as you’re enjoying the way it makes you feel. I have a Spotify 80’s/90’s list that I dance to in the house. It’s a lifesaver for me when I get in a mood and need a little pick-me-up.

    Burn a candle

    This may not seem like much but I assure you burning a candle or a using a diffuser with your favorite scent is the quickest way to get you in a calm, peaceful and relaxed state. I have tons of candles around the house each with a different scent to go with whatever mood I’m trying to set.

    Meditate

    Meditation is amazing. There are apps you can check out like Calm and Headspace that are free to use. I personally like Headspace since it breaks down how meditation eases tension and helps release stress. I use Calm when it’s time for bed to help me go to sleep.

    Be a couch potato

    Today is a perfect day to binge watch either your favorite show (I’m watching Game of Thrones season 2 as I type), or you can start a new show that someone recommended.

    Read a book

    Books are my favorite way to relax. Start a book that’s been collecting dust on your shelf for the last several months or hit up your local bookstore or library and discover something new.

    If you don’t have the whole day to yourself here are 30 activities you can do in an hour to help you relax.

    What are you doing for National Relaxation Day?
  • Wanna Survive the Daytime? You Better Get a Bedtime Routine

    bedtime routine mommyrandr valerie pierre

    There was a time where I couldn’t make it to noon without needing a nap. As hard as tried I just could not keep my eyes open. The onslaught of exhaustion became the bane of my existence. And while I love a good nap, I can’t always be sleeping cause I got shit to fucking do during the day.

    Then one night at 3 a.m. it hit me as I lay awake trolling Twitter. This right was my problem and why I couldn’t function in the daylight hours. You woulda thought I would’ve figured it out sooner. Better late than never, right? The problem was when it was time for bed I got up from my desk from being on the internet and hopped my ass in the bed and got right back on the internet. *buzzer sound* This is not the proper way to go to bed. While I was physically shutting down my body, I wasn’t shutting down my brain.

    Enter my new bedtime routine.

    Y’all should already know what a bedtime routine is, but if you don’t, it’s a series of wind down activities you do just before you go to bed to help you go right to sleep. Now keep in mind no one bedtime routine is the same. My routine has 7 steps but yours might only have 4. My routine takes an hour and starts at 11 p.m. and in this order or I’m not gonna be able to sleep.

    Take my vitamins (multi & hair, nail, and skin)

    bedtime routine mommyrandr valerie pierre

    I always take my vitamins at night before sleep. Why? They take hours to break down in my system. What sense would it make for me to take them at 8 a.m. and finally kicking in at 3 p.m. when I need the energy before then. So I take them at night so when I wake up my struggle level isn’t 10 and I can hit the ground running with energy that will carry me through the afternoon. Also, if you wanna grow your nails get these Vitafusion vitamins. They are the business.

    Take a shower and brush my teeth

    Next, I go take a shower. I’m usually in there about 15 minutes. I alternate between hot and cold water. I let the hot run on me and I stand there as it rinses off the drama and stress of the day. Then as I bathe and rinse I use cooler water. After my shower, I’ll floss and brush my teeth.

    Brew a pot of tea

    bedtime routine valerie pierre mommyrandr

    As soon as I leave the bathroom I brew a pot a tea. I’m a huge fan of T2 teas. So I’ll make a mug of relax or lemongrass and ginger. My tea doesn’t take too long since I don’t let the water boil. It’s hot just enough. I also won’t add too much sugar since I just brushed and cause I need to go to sleep, or I’ll add a small amount of honey.

    I will drink my tea as I go through the rest of my routine.

    Moisturize my skin

    I’ll add a light lotion to my skin. My dresser is loaded with lotion. I put on whatever my hand lands on. I don’t want anything too oily or too heavy as I want to feel my skin breathing. I’ll also put on my Olay Age Defying Anti-Wrinkle Night Cream, cause I’m a woman of a certain age.

    Mist and massage my scalp

    bedtime routine valerie pierre mommyrandr

    My hair needs moisture or it’ll be hard and dry. So, with my water bottle, I’ll spritz my hair with a water and oil and water combination and add a little leave-in conditioner. I’ll rub and massage it in then put my satin lined Grace Eleyae cap on. In the morning my hair will be soft and shiny. I like this cap cause it’s got an elastic band that won’t slip off.

    Lower the air temperature

    I need the room to be cold, and I mean cold. I sleep with blankets year-round so I set the air conditioner to 67 degrees on the highest cooling level. The room gets brick quick, and no matter how cold the room may get I won’t feel it as I’m snug as a bug under all my blankets.

    Get in bed with Calm app

    I know, I know I’m not supposed to have electronics in the bed, but, I’m not actually looking at it, I’m listening. Calm app is the last step that really brings everything together. Now that I’m covered up to my neck I put my headphones in and set the app to relaxing sounds. I usually choose some sort of water sounds like rain or a waterfall. I turn the volume down low and turn over. It’s lights out in less than five minutes. Thankfully there’s a timer on the music that it cuts off after an hour.

    When I wake up the next day, yeah I’m dreading getting up, that’s never going to change but at least I’m refreshed having received almost eight hours of sleep. And that’s the key to it all – getting the proper amount of rest. By getting the recommended 7 to 9 hours of sleep a night you won’t have to worry about trying to survive the next day.

    Do you have a bedtime routine? What does it consist of? 

     

  • TOP 10 “ME TIME” ACTIVITIES: BACK TO SCHOOL EDITION

    “What do stay at home moms do for themselves while their children are in school?” is a question that I asked one of my favorite Facebook mom groups. I received close to 35 responses. These moms let it be known they not only understand the importance of “me time” but know how to take full advantage of it. While the answers varied from mom to mom all of the responses were the same…make sure you’re doing something for YOU!
    From those answers here are the top 10 things you should be doing for YOURSELF while you children are in school:

    Go shopping: When was the last time you purchased something for you? Personal items do not count. I’m talking about buying yourself a new pair of shoes or an outfit. Take the time to enjoy the peacefulness of a department during those early morning hours and browse for something you’ve been promising yourself for the last 6 months.

    shop

    Meet up with friends & Network: After you’ve dropped the kids off go have breakfast with your gal pals. Make it a standing weekly or monthly breakfast gathering. Or you can attend a mommy only event in your neighborhood that will allow you to meet new friends.

    Take a nap:  You can never have too much sleep. As moms, we’re the ones in our household who get the least amount of it. Leave those breakfast dishes in the sink, go put your feet up and relax. Make sure to set your alarm so you don’t oversleep.

    Go to a day spa: What better way to spend the day at the spa. Getting a fresh mani and pedi or even getting your hair done will make any mom feel rejuvenated. Tell your girlfriends and go together or go alone to clear your mind.

    Workout (at home or the gym): Working out allows you to not only look good but feel good. Staying active keeps you strong and feeling youthful. You can go to the gym or you can work out right in your house. In a previous post, I talked about how something as simple as yoga can get you feeling great!

    fitness

    Take an online class: You’re never too old to return to school. There is no law that says if you’re over 26 you can’t be in school. If you need to finish a degree or if you want to obtain a secondary the quietness of the house is perfect for you to be able to take your courses and get your homework done.

    Start a home-based business: Take the talents from your working days and turn it into a business that you can run from home.

    Start a blog: The beauty of a blog will allow you to talk about whatever you want. Talk about your family, yourself, or a topic you love. You can choose to show your face or you can remain anonymous. It works around your schedule which means you can post as much or as little whenever you want.

    Watch a movie: Ahh, yes the pleasure of watching a movie that isn’t starring Anna and Elsa. Catch a matinee or stay home and watch on demand. We all have that one movie that everyone has seen except for you because your kids made you watch something else or when you attempted to watch it they kept calling your name.

    Read a book: We all have that one book on our shelf that we bought but haven’t read yet. With the kids in school, you can blow the dust off of it and dive in. If you’ve read all the books on your shelf then take a ride over to the local bookstore and discover a new author or 2 or 3.

    What do you do for yourself while your children are in school?