When it comes to life, having a strong support network of friends helps make everything a little easier to tolerate. Many people say you’re the company that you keep, but what if you’re struggling trying to find company. It ain’t easy to make friends as an adult. So that begs the question, how does build a network of friends to ensure you always have people surrounding you who care about your well being?!
The easy and hard answer is, you gotta get your ass out there. Getting out there may sound easy but it’s definitely a struggle. But it doesn’t have to be. So how do you get out there? You can start small by attending meetups with other moms at your kid’s school or other local mom groups. Search for local events that speak to your spirit. There’s nothing wrong with going to an event alone as you never know who you’re gonna meet. If going out is too much you can join online Facebook groups. I’m a member of a number of local Brooklyn mom/women’s groups. You can also find virtual friends through activities clubs or groups which will ensure you’re meeting like-minded people who have a common interest with you.
But before you get out there you need to do a few other things to make sure your support network of friends will be solid.
Determine What You Need
Before you even get out there you need to determine what you’ll need from your new group of friends. Perhaps you’re going through trauma, recovering from something major or just want to know you have people by your side no matter what life throws at you.
Make time to develop your new friendships
Now that you’ve met new people you need to make the time to develop these new relationships. No one likes or wants a friend who’s always missing in action, especially one they’ve just met. You have to show people you’re genuine and truly care about them. Make the time to send words of encouragement to start off the day, ask them how they’re doing or follow up on how a presentation or a meeting went. Showing people you actually care goes a very long way.
Don’t force relationships
No one wants to be in a forced friendship. If you don’t feel a connection with someone after hanging out a few times that’s okay. Remember, you’re not gonna mesh with everyone you meet. Don’t give up so easily. Keeping putting yourself out there cause remember the glue that holds solid friendships together is being into people who will be into you.
Listen to your friends
The relationships you’re trying to build aren’t one-sided. These people aren’t here just for you to dump your problems on. The key to stable long-lasting friendship is listening to others as they listen to you. Hear them in their time of need and share with them practical solutions to their problems. This is how relationships work.
Reconnect with your current/old friends
I know this is about making new friends but if you have friends whom you haven’t connected with in a long time reaching out to them is like starting all over again. Talk and be honest about what may have caused a breakdown in communication and try to work through it. Maybe you were a bad friend, and they didn’t know how to tell you or maybe they said something that offended you. Now is the time to air out your grievances and work towards a solution to try and mend the friendship, if it can be mended. It will be hard and it will feel awkward as hell but if the goal is to have your old friend back then it’s worth it.
Bring your friends together
Now that you’ve determined who will be a part of your strong support network of friends, it’s time to bring everyone together so that you all can meet each other. Hosting some sort of dinner or happy hour with this support network of friends will help build the bond between all of you so that you all can be a positive part of each other’s life.