Movies

  • Sappy Movies I Plan To Watch While NOT Celebrating Valentine’s Day

    (mrr pin image) romantic movies

    I avoid Valentine’s Day like the plague cause I’m not into the sappy shit. I can’t do all that hugging and kissing n’shit. It’s weird and I feel weird doing it. Yes, I have a whole husband but it was my winning personality, charm, and good looks that won him over not my cold emotionless heart.

    But see here’s the thing, just cause I purposely have no plans for Valentine’s Day that doesn’t mean I won’t happily lay in bed watching romantic movies. Yeah, yeah I know. How does someone who isn’t into any form of romance watch romantic movies? The answer is, I don’t know. It’s just like how I hate football yet I watch movies about the game. It’s just the way things are with me. I’m an Aquarius and there’s no figuring us out.

    That said, here’s a list of 20 sappy movies I’ve seen more times than I can count but watch like I’ve never seen them before.

    The Notebook

    The greatest love story of my generation. Who doesn’t love a summer love story about a boy and a girl who do nothing but kiss and fight? He’s an arrogant son of a bitch and she’s a pain in the ass. It’s a match made in heaven.

    Titanic

    He’s a starving artist, she’s a snobby aristocrat, and together they find love on a sinking ship. *Spoiler Alert* He dies and five minutes after saying she’ll never let him go, she lets him go. I side-eye it every time. But I love Leo, Kate, and Celine Dion so I watch it every single time I see it’s on.

    Ghost

    This movie shows you, everyone, ain’tcha damn friend. Sam loses his life, Molly is in danger, and Oda Mae is just trying to find out if she’s crazy or really talking to a ghost. Oh, there’s also some sexy clay penis shaping action here too.

    Love Jones

    A photographer meets a writer and the sexual connection between these two is off the charts. That is until she leaves town for a job opportunity and to settle some things with an ex-fiance. When she comes back she sees him with another woman which leads her to date a friend of his. Now they’re even more broken so who knows if they can survive.

    Beyond The Lights

    This is a literal damsel in distress film. She’s a singer not happy with her life and he’s a cop who literally rescues her off a balcony. They each discover who they really are and live life together in their own truth. It stars British actress, Gugu Mbatha-Raw who in my eyes can do no wrong and I’ll watch everything she’s in.

    Pretty Woman

    Pretty Woman is a classic that will never ever get old. A multi-millionaire gets lost in Hollywood, he meets a lady of the night, asks for directions, and what was supposed to be a week-long business arrangement turns into an unexpected love affair.

    When Harry Met Sally

    This one is for those folks who are total opposites but are out here making it work despite their annoying food ordering habits and other random quirks that no one else would be willing to deal with. This is also for the ones who didn’t like each other when they first met but grew to love each other after years of friendship.

    Dirty Dancing

    She was nobody’s baby nor was she in anyone’s corner by the end of this movie. There’s no need for me to talk about it. You know what’s about and why it’s here.

    13 Going on 30

    When your 13-year-old self gets tricked to being in a closet for some kissy time with a popular boy but instead all you get are crushed hopes and dreams. Oh, and when you come out the closet you’re now a grown-ass 30-year-old woman. Now you gotta live this new adult life in order to correct the past so you can be with the overlooked nerdy boy who loved you all along.

    The Thomas Crown Affair

    A billionaire thief who steals priceless shit for fun meets a hard-ass insurance investigator who was onto him from the first time she meets him. It’s my favorite Pierce Brosnan and Renee Russo film. And her black wardrobe throughout this film is what my closet dreams are made of.

    Something New

    When you don’t have success dating who you think you should be dating, you reluctantly try something new, but you’re too bust worried about what everyone thinks to really allow yourself to go with your gut. Thankfully, you come to your senses and let go, let flow.

    My Big Fat Greek Wedding

    Her very traditional Greek family never thought she would get married. So when she meets the man of her dreams and gets engaged all hell hilariously breaks loose cause he ain’t Greek and he don’t eat no meat.

    Harry and Meghan: A Royal Romance (A Lifetime movie)

    Their love story is a relatable fairytale. The only relatable part being they met on a blind date through a mutual friend, cause most of us aren’t beautiful single actresses with friends who happen to have a real-life single prince in her rolodex. He’ll never king but he has his queen and together they will live happily ever after away from the racist British press and royal institution.

    *Lifetime made a follow-up Harry and Meghan: Becoming Royal it wasn’t as good as the first.

    Notting Hill

    She plays her celeb self, he plays his awkward self, and in a travel bookstore in the Notting Hill section of London, they find love. He also has a Kramer like roommate who 1. thankfully doesn’t ruin Hugh’s chances of being with Julia and 2. finds love himself. It’s a two for one in this English rom-com.

    Pillow Talk

    It’s the 50’s version of catfishing with playboy Rock Hudson pretending to be a wholesome Texan cowboy trying to woo his crossed landline partner Doris Day, who despises who he really is, cause well he’s a playboy. They share a mutual friend so you know Rock’s ruse isn’t gonna last forever.

    Music & Lyrics

    Awkward Hugh Grant is back, this time as a washed-up 80’s Whammish singer who gets a new plant waterer in Drew Barrymore who has a hidden talent of being a great lyricist. Together they get the chance of a lifetime to write an original song for a global pop singer. Know of a better fictional awkward music and lyric duo? No, you don’t.

    Brown Sugar

    Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt. These two people knew from jump street they loved each other but instead of just coming out with it they get married and engaged (respectively) to other people all while continuing to pretend they’re just friends like other people can’t see they love each other.

    Sweet Home Alabama

    This movie happens when you try to escape your hillbilly roots by moving to NYC where you eventually make it big and get engaged to the mayor’s son. But there’s one person standing in your way, your hillbilly husband who you never officially divorced. Now you gotta go back and face the truth. Who does she choose?

    Groundhog Day

    This happens when fate forces you to relive the same day over and over in order to teach you to be less of an asshole and more of a caring human being. You also fall in love with your co-worker and win her heart with all the talents you’ve learned from living the same day for like a year.

    The Best Man

    No good can happen the weekend you’re supposed to get married but you find out your best man banged your future wife while you were out banging other women but you mad cause she banged your best friend once in college. Oh, and the affair is the premise of said best man’s debut book which falls into the groom’s hands days before the wedding. Whew, chile.

    Walk The Line

    He wants her and she wants him to get clean. But despite him struggling from a tough a childhood and addiction, they make beautiful iconic music together. In the end, it’s his willingness and her love that gets him through.

    What are some of your favorite sappy movies to watch? Let’s talk about them.

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  • BAD MOMS IS FOR ALL MOMS: MOVIE REVIEW

    Bad Moms centers around an overworked and over-stressed mom (Mila Kunis) who has had enough of everyone’s crap, and promptly loses her shit.

    Accompanied by her two sidekicks (Kristen Bell and Kathryn Hahn) they embark on an a kick ass campaign to take down the “perfect” mom clique (Christina Applegate, Jada Pinkett-Smith and Annie Mumolo).

    The result is a hilarious comedy that highlights everyday struggles of moms everywhere who are failing miserably at trying to be everything to everyone.

    So, why should ALL moms see Bad Moms?

    First off, it’s effin hilarious! Every type of mom is covered here so you will relate to one of them. I’m single mom if you’re wondering. Yeah, I’m married but me and Kathryn Hahn’s character Carla are total spirit animals with our ratchet behavior.  Take a quick quiz to find out what kind of mom you are.

    Secondly, and this is important – this movie lets us know that we are all bad moms. Being the “perfect” mom is dam near impossible, therefore we to stop acting like we have everything together, stop judging and start supporting one another. To hell with who bought what to the bake sale and worrying about if it’s store bought or homemade. Mine is totally store bought. The point is, every parent there took time out of their day to have a good time supporting their kid’s school function. Let’s focus on that. Cause we could’ve stayed home with a box of Popeyes and binged watched ID Channel all day.

    Third, there’s excessive cussing and sexual connotations. And let’s talk about how after watching this movie you’ll never look at a hoodie the same way again.  Now if this type of thing is up your alley (like it is mine), then you’ll be in stitches.

    If you missed the trailer watch it now

    Now gather all your mom friends and plan a moms night out to end all others. Get tickets here.

    TITS UP!!! (you’ll get it when you see the movie.)

  • MOM NIGHT OUT AT THE MOVIES: FREE TICKETS TO ‘BAD MOMS’ SNEAK PREVIEW ON THURSDAY, JULY 21 IN NYC

    I tell you no word a lie when I say Bad Moms is the movie that hot mess moms everywhere have been waiting for. We are tired of feeling like if we aren’t baking everything from scratch, aren’t at every randomly scheduled PTA meeting and not looking perfectly coiffed at morning drop off that we’re shitty parents.

    It’s about a successful wife and mother, Mila Kunis who is being  pulled in every direction and cracks under the pressure of trying to be a “perfect” mom. She pretty much has as mental breakdown and is joined by Kristen Bell and Kathryn Hahn as they take down the mother of all “perfect” moms Christina Applegate and her clique.

    In a nutshell Bad Moms is like Hangover, but for moms. Which is funny cause Bad Moms is brought to you by those very same people, so you know you’re gonna be in for a wild ride.

    Watch the official trailer below.

    If you and your hot mess mommy crew are trying to be up in the theater CLICK HERE to score your tickets to Bad Mom happening on Thursday, July 21 at in New York City. These tickets are limited so get them while you can. The show starts promptly at 7pm so it is recommended that you arrive on line between 6-6:15pm. Why? This viewing  will be packed with moms like yourself who’ve ditched their kids for a night of mommy debauchery, it’s the only way to make sure that you’ll be able to get your seats.

    (UPDATE: A few moms informed me that they were having issues with the link. If you encounter such an issue please reach out to me and let me know so that I can make sure everyone gets their tickets)

    After you’ve gotten your tickets take this quick quiz to find out what type of mom you are.

    bad moms

    For even more fun visit the official Bad Moms website to learn more about the film, cast and additional trailers.

    bad moms

    *Oh, and if you’re late (cause there’s always one in the group who makes everyone late) and you can’t get in I am not responsible cause I told you what time you should’ve been there to get your seat.

     

  • GET WET WITH MAGIC MIKE XXL

    After my Body Conceptions class I walked crawled to 34th Street for some mommy me time at the movies to see Magic Mike XXL, the follow up to the 2012 hit Magic Mike. Because me and Jeff are big movie goers this is the only movie that I’d be able to see alone. If I would’ve seen, say, Jurassic Park he would have a fit because its something we’re supposed to see together. You get the point. So I was fine with him staying home for this one cause all he would’ve done was laugh and crack jokes, when I needed to concentrate on Joe Manganiello abs and to how many pelvic thrusts Channing Tatum would be shoving into the camera.

    I can’t tell you what happened in the first one cause I fell asleep. Hey, listen, I was pregnant and it was almost midnight when that show started. But, what I can tell you is Magic Mike XXL was way better than the first. I laughed, I drooled and I squirmed in my seat. It was a $15 well spent.

    And because there really isn’t much else I can say about this movie, I’ll let gifs speak for me. Cause let’s face it, you don’t wanna read what I have to say anyway…

    The movie started and it was talking about how Channing hadn’t seen the fellas in a long time but then Pony came on and he started dancin’ like…

    I was lookin’ like…

    When he found the guys they decided there would be one final dance at the annual stripper competition…ROAD TRIP!

    On the way to the stripper competition Joe rolled up in the 7/11 like…

    Which had me like…

    After that Channing met a girl…

    They also met some chocolate dancers at a hidden pleasure palace owned by Jada Pinkett Smith

    Which had me thinking…

    At the competition Jada Pinkett Smith (my new Woman Crush Wednesday) introduced them like…

    They came out like…

    I was like…

    Then they hit me with the tag team like…

    And in my mind I knew after that show I’d backstage with one of them like…

    Then sadly it went off and I left the theater like…

    So there you have it! You NEED to go see it! And when you do you’ll be like…

    And I’ll be in the corner like…

    But I will say, my one disappointment with Magic Mike XXL was it didn’t come in 3D. I mean, if I can get a dinosaur or a cartoon jumping up in my face why not a Channing Tatum’s crotch? I personally do not think this is too much to ask as I surely would have paid extra for it. When you make the third, there had better be a third, it needs to be in 3D. Thank you in advance!