self-care

  • Social Media Self-Care: Why Unfollowing and Blocking People Is Necessary

    Social Media self-care valerie pierre mommyrandr

    When I first got on social media I didn’t think of myself as someone who would block people. Back then I didn’t find it necessary and honestly, I thought it was a bit excessive. This was probably because I didn’t see any shit on my personal Facebook page that would give me a reason to block anyone.

    But when I started a public Facebook page (long before this blog was born) I quickly became aware of the negativity that can make the internet a not so fun place to be. You’d be surprised what people would say to me in response to parenting memes and other things I shared. Usually, I would ignore them. But if it got too bad I found myself having to block them.

    At first, I would feel a little guilty and told myself I shouldn’t take it personally. Then I thought, fuck that. I created this space for moms to chill and enjoy. I’m not gonna let these Debbie downers and trolls ruin my shit. So it didn’t take long for me to start using the block button more frequently, and guilt-free.

    Today, unfriending and blocking people is my favorite form of social media self-care, and it should be yours too.

    Protecting my space on social media

    While I may not be able to control the world around me I can control what pops up my timeline. And since I’m all about happiness in all areas of my life I make sure my timelines have a positive reaction on my mental and spiritual health.

    I don’t come on social media to argue with ignorant people stuck in their ways. I don’t have the time nor patience for that. Instead, when I log on I want to consume information from accounts that are going to give me educational and spiritual nourishment.

    So, yeah, this might mean you’ll have to unfriend or block relatives and friends or unfollow someone. Will they like it? Will they understand why you’re unfollowing or blocking them? Probably not. Why? Due to the ease of social media access, people often get upset or even angry when the access they once had to someone becomes restricted. But you see, I no longer care about how people feel when I deny them social media access to me. My feelings as a result of their post matter more, it’s as simple as that.

    I know not everyone is cut and dry so if blocking is too severe there’s always the mute option. Muting is great because it allows you to remain friends with someone while keeping their content from appearing on your timeline. They also have no clue they’ve been muted.

    What are some reasons for blocking people on social media?

    You may not want to see posts from certain people on your timeline for any number of reasons like:

    They’re racist, sexist or homophobic

    No decent human being wants to see that shit on their timeline. I don’t care if it’s your favorite Aunt Alma who makes the best apple pie. Fuck that shit cause there’s no excuse for it.

    They’re a negative Nancy 

    There’s always one person who should scroll past things they don’t agree on but instead will leave an antagonizing comment in the hopes of provoking a comment war.

    You’ve broken up

    If you had a nasty breakup there’s no reason to keep seeing their shit on your timeline and there’s no reason for them to see you on theirs. You living your best life without them is not their business.

    They’re creepy as fuck

    If someone is in your comments with weird comments and emoji’s or if they’ve sent you an unsolicited dick pic they should most definitely be blocked and reported.

    You don’t talk to them or don’t remember who they are

    If you’re Facebook “friends” with someone whom you haven’t spoken to since friending them or nothing about them rings a bell. You should totally let these people go if you have no shared friends.

    They spread fake news

    There’s always that one person who’s always sharing something you always feel like you have to correct despite them having all of Al Gore’s internet at their fingertips to fact check.

    I consider all my social media channels my peaceful corner of the internet. I protect that peace at all costs which is something that I hope you’ll do as well.

    What are your thoughts on this form of social media self-care? Is it something that you do or something you’re gonna start doing?
  • Back-to-School Memes: Parents Celebrating The First Day of School

    *This post was originally posted on August 27, 2018, and has been updated to include the 2021 semester.

    back to school memes mommyrandr valerie pierre

    If you follow my Facebook or my personal page you know I love a good meme. I enjoy making and sharing them. A well-created meme or gif can be a hilarious way to convey exactly how we’re feeling at the moment without an additional caption.

    That said, it’s back-to-school time and moms everywhere are gearing up to reclaim their time. With the kids back in school, there’ll be more time for hot coffee savoring, longer naps, uninterrupted poop time, and more of doing nothing all day. Hence the excitement of moms and the following memes express that happiness perfectly.

    This one was mine from the 2017 school semester, yeah it’s a gif but you can see I was excited after that first-day drop-off.

    Here are some actual back-to-school memes and comments from around the web:
    (*FYI: I don’t own these. I’m just sharing them)

    back to school memes mommyrandr valerie pierre

    back to school memes mommyrandr valerie pierre

    back to school memes mommyrandr valerie pierre

    back to school memes mommyrandr valerie pierre

    back to school memes mommyrandr valerie pierre

    How things have changed from semesters past. While the situation is serious you can ensure the internet will make us laugh. These five back-to-school memes pretty much sum up what most parents (and teachers) are thinking this first semester back since the great plague.

    Do you have any favorite back-to-school memes? Tag me in them with me on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter @MommyRandR.

    *I wanna give a shout out to my homie Mitch over at GayNYCDad who gave me inspiration for this post.

  • 10 Health and Wellness Podcasts That Will Get You Feeling Recharged

    health and wellness podcasts mommyrandr

    Podcasts have recently become my new favorite thing. I don’t listen to many but the ones I listen to on a regular are health and wellness podcasts. Why? Because my ass is tide y’all (yes, tide). So I need something that’s gonna help me get and keep my physical and mental health in order.

    Here’s the reason why I love podcasts. You can listen to them anytime anywhere. A lot of them can be found on Spotify, iTunes, and Soundcloud which makes it easy to listen right from your phone. Which is what I do. When I’m cooking, cleaning, or even in the bathroom I can just tune in.

    Now every podcast isn’t the same. Obviously. I listen to different ones that give me different vibes to go with whatever mood I might be in. Some are fun and easygoing when I want to laugh, some have soothing music and voices when I want to relax, and others are a little serious when I’m not in a jokey mood. But the one thing they all have in common is, they leave me feeling rejuvenated.

    Here are 10 health & wellness podcasts that I’m currently listening to:

    Black Girl In Om

    Hosted by Lauren Ash and Deun Ivory, BGIO’s mission is to promote holistic wellness and inner beauty for women of color. Bruh, I cannot express to you how much that I love BGIO. And it doesn’t stop at just a podcast, they have open conversations on Twitter centered around self-care, self-love, and self-empowerment. Use #BGIO to share your thoughts and opinions, as well as gain knowledge on what it means to be healthy and beautiful from the inside out.

    Listen

    Food Heaven Made Easy

    It’s got food in it so you know I’m all over it. Not because I cook, but because I eat. But this podcast is more than about food. It’s about how to take care of yourself starting with the foods you put in your mouth. They also share tips on how you can live a sustainable healthy lifestyle. There’s also a ton of healthy and easy-to-make recipes that take little to no time to prepare.

    Listen

    Forever 35

    Kate Spencer & Doree Shafrir are friends in my head. Now, be warned these ladies are all about facial serums, and as a woman of a certain age, I’m here for it. But when they aren’t chatting about facial products they discuss exercise, meditation, anxiety, and how life changes as they get older. They also have a Facebook group that focuses on self-care and wellness.

    Listen

    Selfie

    If you thinking you’re gonna get tips on taking better selfie pics then you’re in the wrong place. This podcast hosted by Sara James and Kristen Howerton is about tackling the tricky and elusive aspects of caring for ourselves. Each week Selfie tackles burning questions like: “Why aren’t I getting enough sleep?” “How do I find the perfect bra?” and every other topic from silly to serious in between.

    Listen

    Happy Place

    I’m a HUGE fan of anything British so there was no way this list wouldn’t include at least one English import. It comes compliments of Fearne Cotton who hosted Happy Place. I love happy place cause it’s based on helping you get out of your slump and into a happier mindset. Fearne interviews celebs who have either made a change in their own lives or who help people every day to find a different way of looking at life.

    *This show has ended but it’s still a great podcast to check out.

    Listen

    Therapy for Black Girls

    Dr. Joy Harden Bradford is the truth, ok. Truth. Each week for about 30-45 minutes Dr. Joy with special expert guests discuss topics relating to the everyday lives of black women. In addition, Therapy for Black Girls has a Facebook group. It’s a safe space for black women to post their inner thoughts and feelings, and we work together as a tribe to help each other out. It’s a therapeutic community.

    Listen

    Affirm Podcast

    This biweekly mental health podcast is hosted by Davia Roberts who is a licensed therapist (LPC) and the creator of Redefine Enough. Affirm centers around women of color who affirm their worth, value mental health, and seek wholeness.

    Listen

    Untangle

    I’ve recently stumbled upon Untangle, a meditation-focused podcast hosted by Patricia Karpas who sits down with real people and experts who have devoted their lives to helping others through meditation. She covers topics ranging from why it’s important to meditate to how self-compassion practices change us from the inside out to why meditation helps with anxiety in adults and kids. I can’t really say too much about it right now as I just started listening, but so far so good.

    Listen

    Motivated

    This ABC-produced podcast was hosted by Emmy Award-winning ABC News correspondent, Mara Schiavocampo who shared her keys to living a healthier and happier life following her 90lb weight loss. This podcast is centered on health motivation (hence the name), to help you shed pounds and maintain a healthy lifestyle.

    *This show has ended but it’s still a great podcast to check out.

    Listen

    That’s So Retrograde

    If you’re into retrograde/astrology then you need to check out Elizabeth Kott and Stephanie Simbari. They break down everything you wanted to know about Mercury retrograde is by using humor, pop culture, and interviews with experts. It’s lighthearted, cheesy, and fun which is why I dig it.

    Listen
    Do you have any favorite health and wellness podcasts? Share in the comment below. Let’s keep the list going.
  • Three Self-Help Journals That Will Transform Your Life For Self-Improvement Month

    Self-Improvement Month

    It’s September and you’re no doubt caught up in the hype of back to school. But what if I told you this is also the month for self-improvement. I wanna say this is not a coincidence.

    Usually, when people think of self-transformation it’s at the start of the new year. You know the whole new year new me type shit we all post when we know good and doggone well it’s same shit new year.

    Here are three self-help books you should check out for self-improvement month:

    pause by Danielle Marchant

    Self-Improvement Month
    Learn how to start putting yourself first and doing the things that make YOU happy with Marchant’s Pause. Understanding the importance of not allowing anyone to make you feel guilty about choosing to take care of you. And the most valuable of all, knowing when to pause by telling others no so you can stop putting so much on your plate.

    Calm by Michael Acton Smith

    Self-Improvement Month
    Based on the app of the same name. It’s a perfect start for someone who is interested in meditation. Calm provides fun easy to follow how-to tips and tricks that will help you find peace and focus, as well as increase your creativity and productivity which will ultimately lead to better mental and physical health.

    Surprise Yourself by Lisa Currie

    The purpose of Currie’s book is to help get you out of your shell. Pure and simple. I love it because you can do it alone or with a friend. It’s about stopping to not only smell but enjoy the roses. There are fun and quirky ways to learn, create and grow, and provides simple activities to make every day count. Prompts include: compliment a stranger, be a tourist in your own town for the day, invent a new recipe and so on. While the weather is still warm I’m gonna get out and explore my hood with this journal in hand.

    Which journal do I like the most?

    Of the three I would consider Calm as my favorite as you can use the book alongside the Calm app.

    Self-Improvement Month

    I just recently downloaded and it’s changed my entire nighttime routine. I don’t pay for the extras cause the freebies give me the type of wind down I’m looking for at the end of a long tiring day.

    Which self-help journal are you looking forward to reading for Self-Improvement Month? Have you started one? Share with me in the comments.