Valentine’s Day

  • Sappy Movies I Plan To Watch While NOT Celebrating Valentine’s Day

    (mrr pin image) romantic movies

    I avoid Valentine’s Day like the plague cause I’m not into the sappy shit. I can’t do all that hugging and kissing n’shit. It’s weird and I feel weird doing it. Yes, I have a whole husband but it was my winning personality, charm, and good looks that won him over not my cold emotionless heart.

    But see here’s the thing, just cause I purposely have no plans for Valentine’s Day that doesn’t mean I won’t happily lay in bed watching romantic movies. Yeah, yeah I know. How does someone who isn’t into any form of romance watch romantic movies? The answer is, I don’t know. It’s just like how I hate football yet I watch movies about the game. It’s just the way things are with me. I’m an Aquarius and there’s no figuring us out.

    That said, here’s a list of 20 sappy movies I’ve seen more times than I can count but watch like I’ve never seen them before.

    The Notebook

    The greatest love story of my generation. Who doesn’t love a summer love story about a boy and a girl who do nothing but kiss and fight? He’s an arrogant son of a bitch and she’s a pain in the ass. It’s a match made in heaven.

    Titanic

    He’s a starving artist, she’s a snobby aristocrat, and together they find love on a sinking ship. *Spoiler Alert* He dies and five minutes after saying she’ll never let him go, she lets him go. I side-eye it every time. But I love Leo, Kate, and Celine Dion so I watch it every single time I see it’s on.

    Ghost

    This movie shows you, everyone, ain’tcha damn friend. Sam loses his life, Molly is in danger, and Oda Mae is just trying to find out if she’s crazy or really talking to a ghost. Oh, there’s also some sexy clay penis shaping action here too.

    Love Jones

    A photographer meets a writer and the sexual connection between these two is off the charts. That is until she leaves town for a job opportunity and to settle some things with an ex-fiance. When she comes back she sees him with another woman which leads her to date a friend of his. Now they’re even more broken so who knows if they can survive.

    Beyond The Lights

    This is a literal damsel in distress film. She’s a singer not happy with her life and he’s a cop who literally rescues her off a balcony. They each discover who they really are and live life together in their own truth. It stars British actress, Gugu Mbatha-Raw who in my eyes can do no wrong and I’ll watch everything she’s in.

    Pretty Woman

    Pretty Woman is a classic that will never ever get old. A multi-millionaire gets lost in Hollywood, he meets a lady of the night, asks for directions, and what was supposed to be a week-long business arrangement turns into an unexpected love affair.

    When Harry Met Sally

    This one is for those folks who are total opposites but are out here making it work despite their annoying food ordering habits and other random quirks that no one else would be willing to deal with. This is also for the ones who didn’t like each other when they first met but grew to love each other after years of friendship.

    Dirty Dancing

    She was nobody’s baby nor was she in anyone’s corner by the end of this movie. There’s no need for me to talk about it. You know what’s about and why it’s here.

    13 Going on 30

    When your 13-year-old self gets tricked to being in a closet for some kissy time with a popular boy but instead all you get are crushed hopes and dreams. Oh, and when you come out the closet you’re now a grown-ass 30-year-old woman. Now you gotta live this new adult life in order to correct the past so you can be with the overlooked nerdy boy who loved you all along.

    The Thomas Crown Affair

    A billionaire thief who steals priceless shit for fun meets a hard-ass insurance investigator who was onto him from the first time she meets him. It’s my favorite Pierce Brosnan and Renee Russo film. And her black wardrobe throughout this film is what my closet dreams are made of.

    Something New

    When you don’t have success dating who you think you should be dating, you reluctantly try something new, but you’re too bust worried about what everyone thinks to really allow yourself to go with your gut. Thankfully, you come to your senses and let go, let flow.

    My Big Fat Greek Wedding

    Her very traditional Greek family never thought she would get married. So when she meets the man of her dreams and gets engaged all hell hilariously breaks loose cause he ain’t Greek and he don’t eat no meat.

    Harry and Meghan: A Royal Romance (A Lifetime movie)

    Their love story is a relatable fairytale. The only relatable part being they met on a blind date through a mutual friend, cause most of us aren’t beautiful single actresses with friends who happen to have a real-life single prince in her rolodex. He’ll never king but he has his queen and together they will live happily ever after away from the racist British press and royal institution.

    *Lifetime made a follow-up Harry and Meghan: Becoming Royal it wasn’t as good as the first.

    Notting Hill

    She plays her celeb self, he plays his awkward self, and in a travel bookstore in the Notting Hill section of London, they find love. He also has a Kramer like roommate who 1. thankfully doesn’t ruin Hugh’s chances of being with Julia and 2. finds love himself. It’s a two for one in this English rom-com.

    Pillow Talk

    It’s the 50’s version of catfishing with playboy Rock Hudson pretending to be a wholesome Texan cowboy trying to woo his crossed landline partner Doris Day, who despises who he really is, cause well he’s a playboy. They share a mutual friend so you know Rock’s ruse isn’t gonna last forever.

    Music & Lyrics

    Awkward Hugh Grant is back, this time as a washed-up 80’s Whammish singer who gets a new plant waterer in Drew Barrymore who has a hidden talent of being a great lyricist. Together they get the chance of a lifetime to write an original song for a global pop singer. Know of a better fictional awkward music and lyric duo? No, you don’t.

    Brown Sugar

    Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt. These two people knew from jump street they loved each other but instead of just coming out with it they get married and engaged (respectively) to other people all while continuing to pretend they’re just friends like other people can’t see they love each other.

    Sweet Home Alabama

    This movie happens when you try to escape your hillbilly roots by moving to NYC where you eventually make it big and get engaged to the mayor’s son. But there’s one person standing in your way, your hillbilly husband who you never officially divorced. Now you gotta go back and face the truth. Who does she choose?

    Groundhog Day

    This happens when fate forces you to relive the same day over and over in order to teach you to be less of an asshole and more of a caring human being. You also fall in love with your co-worker and win her heart with all the talents you’ve learned from living the same day for like a year.

    The Best Man

    No good can happen the weekend you’re supposed to get married but you find out your best man banged your future wife while you were out banging other women but you mad cause she banged your best friend once in college. Oh, and the affair is the premise of said best man’s debut book which falls into the groom’s hands days before the wedding. Whew, chile.

    Walk The Line

    He wants her and she wants him to get clean. But despite him struggling from a tough a childhood and addiction, they make beautiful iconic music together. In the end, it’s his willingness and her love that gets him through.

    What are some of your favorite sappy movies to watch? Let’s talk about them.

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  • 10 Hilariously Sarcastic E-Cards That Sum Up Valentine’s Day Perfectly

    sarcastic valentine's day cards mommyrandr valerie pierre

    When you think of a Valentine’s Day card you think of love and romance. However, the good folks over at Someecards have a very different idea in mind. Their cards are the epitome of sarcasm and hilarity. They say what we’re all thinking but won’t ever say out loud and for this reason, I chose the 10 of their most sarcastic Valentine’s Day cards.

    I’m going to need you to keep in mind these cards aren’t for everyone. There are some people who would be highly offended if they got one instead of the traditional lovey-dovey card. I personally wouldn’t care cause these cards are right up my alley cause I mean I’ve been with Jeff 21 years and yes, it’s a fucking miracle that I’m not sick of his face. Or he mine.

    Despite what those who are offended may think, I honestly believe inappropriate comedy is how you keep the romance going. Yes, good ole fashion laughter. Cause, hey listen, if you can’t laugh with the one you’re with then what the fuck are you with them for?

    So here are some laughs to enjoy between you and your partner.

    please-give-estimate-valentines-day-ecard-someecards

    believe-much-not-valentines-day-ecard-someecards

    gifts-love-sex-dating-valentines-day-ecards-someecards

    MjAxMy1lYjU4YTE4MTM2ODY5NmM1_5113bef29613f

    forget-blow-jobs-flowers-valentines-day-ecard-someecards

    dinner-cook-love-dating-valentines-day-ecards-someecards

    gift-apology-love-date-valentines-day-ecards-someecards

    dedicate-boner-valentines-day-ecard-someecards

    lend-money-perfect-valentine-day-valentinesday-ecards-someecards

    breakup-love-dating-gift-valentines-day-ecards-someecards

    To send one of these cards to your loved one click the photographs or visit their website.

    What are your thoughts on sarcastic Valentine’s Day cards? Are they something you would want to receive or not?

    Photo credit: Someecards