I have always been envious of those around me who can locate the beat of a song and dance the shit out of it. I’m always left wondering how? And, why not me? What is it with this inability of mine to locate the beat of a song and dance to it? Basic dancing isn’t something that should be hard to master, yet I’m struggling.

Just once in my life would love to be all ‘Step Up’ in the middle of a party. I want the feeling of the music to take over and propel my body to move in ways thought impossible. To cause crowds to gather and go ape shit with cheers, ooohhhh’s and high fives. I want them to see me then go home and try to mimic what they saw and fail miserably.

(I swear rain water makes everything better)

My desire to learn how to dance isn’t limited to just hip hop. Oh, goodness no. This extends to salsa, meringue, reggae, calypso, even river dance. Yes, I’m so serious about that. Their fast feet truly intrigue me. And twerking. But this would be doubly difficult as I’d need rhythm AND ass to accomplish this. I just can’t win can I?

*Deep sigh*

The running joke is, Val but you’re Black AND you’re Caribbean how you not know how to dance? Rhythm is in your veins. Yeah, well, no. It’s not. Wine maybe. But, not rhythm.

Yet to be clear, I DO dance. I don’t wanna make it seem like I’m a constant seat warmer or a wall hugger. I just keep to my limits like chair dancing

Jumping up and down

But what I’m really a master of is good ole two step. It’s my go-to and I use it regardless of the musical settingtwo step-1

Now I thought I could remedy this sad situation by taking a one day a week 3 week long choreographed dance class. Nope. To no avail. And it wasn’t that the teacher wasn’t great, cause he was. I just sucked. Listen, the class could be taught by Beyonce herself and I’d still be looking like

So what does one do when all they wanna do is dance? I don’t know yet honestly. But what I do know is I have 2 options: I could keep practicing and with the grace of God I’ll be able to cut a rug. Or I could just say fuck it and dance like no one is watching not caring how I look.

Yeah, I’m gonna keep practicing. LOL! In this day and age you never know who is watching and recording you. The last thing I need to do is see myself as a 15 second Instagram meme.

Maybe with a stern pep-talking to myself I’ll eventually get my shit together and be a fraction as good this.


This is my new favorite dance video thanks Brown Media Mama for putting me on to it. Note: These are the same women in the Justin Bieber ‘Sorry‘ video.